Here we gone again..I was standing right there, in a little room. I just felt so lonesome even though there were much other people arround. But no one was talking to me. The reason: everyone was already in a conversation. My 'problem' is that I barely can come into a conversation if it is already going. So, I was just standing next to another person. I was trying to join the conversation, but they did not even make eye contact. I have felt so lonesome. But I will survive! I will find 'my people' in another place. There are so much other people out of here who will have a conversation. With me. I will find them someday!
Hi! It's time for a new update, because my last blog here is a few months ago. There is so much happening in my life right now, I just don't know how to handle. Very much things are coming om my way. A lot of new things just to much! I can not find any peace in it. I feel like I have not been sleeping for years, because I am tired.. day to day. My thoughts won't leave me in silence. It is chasing after me. I can not be the one who I am. Not even have a good chat with my favorite driver, it is never satisfied. Tonight I must go to some kind of meeting and I have to vote for a new president for a club where I am a member of. And tomorrow.. there will be some awesome activities but I won't join it. It's not that I really care about it but.. I begin to wonder if some one is waiting for me. No one will ever step right to me to say Hi or something like that. It seems like to be an circle what never stops to go arround. I mean, people always say to me: you must speak a little more to other ones. And: O come on, that is because of YOU. You are never really happy about things, you're always like: ok. But.. is that really weird? I mean, nobody ever talks to me. They don't even need me because I am different than other poeple and I'm a bit shy. Ugh.. really frustrating. I have to leave all this thoughts behind. I have to fight against it. Because it is ruining my youthful life. I pray it will be better someday. To be accept as the person who Ireally am. Even if I feel ashamed. I won't hide anymore!
I have homework to do but I can't find any concentration. And I can't type fast at all. The only thing I can do now, is trying to find some information at the internet and enjoying some of my favorite music at the background. You know what, I will add my favorite song of this moment at this blog.